Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Exclusive Interview with Paul Holmquist

David Cromer's Cherrywood is rapidly becoming the most successful play to be on Planet Earth since Angels in America made it's way to Broadway during the Stonewall riots.
I was able to sit down with the second most important director in Chicago to discuss the arrival of the Cherrywood bus, and what this will mean to the future of entertainment as a whole and him in particular.

Nice To See You Paul.
--Yeah, right. Like I trust you.

Why Would You Say Something Like That To Me?
--You left without even saying Goodbye! No explanation, nothing. Just left me with the flaming bag of dogshit in my hand like it all meant nothing to you.

Let's Get Started, Jerk.
--Fine. Use me. Why stop now.

Last Time I Cried:
--When I woke up and you were gone and I saw the $45 on my nightstand.

Last Time I Lied:
--When I sang "I aint missing you at all"

Last Thing I Bought:
--A fifth of Jim Beam.

Last Time I Was Angry:
--When I opened my email and saw you wanted something from me. I owe you NOTHING. You took EVERYTHING.

Last Indulgence:
--I'm indulging you right now, you heartless fuck.

My Favorite Thing About Cherrywood At Mary Arrchie:
--All of the money those fine actors will make. 49 people finally making a living wage in Storefront theatre thanks to David "Jesus Walks" Cromer bringing in the big money from New York. I can't wait to miss this one!

Last Dream:
--A small cottage in the country, just us two. You come home from a long day working on our modest farm and I've just baked an olive loaf.

Last Food I’d Like To Eat Before I Die:
--You think about that and think hard. Before I Die. Doesn't it hurt just a little?

Last thing I bought my Mom:
--Tickets to your last show. What an idiot I was.

Why I think I'm so much better than you:
--Because I don't need you! I'm better than this! If you liked it, you should have put a ring on it - I'm out the door!

What's The Attraction To Cherrywood?
--Her name is Alison Cain.

Thanks For Your Time.
--Leave me alone. For ever.

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