I recently sat down with the gorgeous and eye-shadowed Mary Rose O'Connor to talk with her about all things Cherrywood! Did she lose her cool, or was it fun for all? Let's see! NOW!
That's a great question Eric. It's hard to answer this because I'm the kind of person who really gets along with everyone. But let's say, for example I worked very closely with 49 people that I may or may not have disliked or had trouble working with. I've found that in large-group circumstances such as these, people really respond best to a nurturing figure in the room. It makes everyone feel like they're being thought of as individuals, taken care of, and most of all adorable.
In my employment history, I don't usually encounter a lot of one-on-one conflict, but in large groups, it is hard to manage, and even harder to predict. So as a precaution, a great strategy I've come up with, is plant a gorgeous shirtless man in the room every night, and then infect him with various undetectable strains of influenza. Force that man to share drinks or make physical contact with every fondle-worthy female in the room; they won't resist because WHY WOULD YOU. Over time, the illness will spread to the entire group. Once this has taken affect, I then have the ultimate advantage of playing Mama Hen. Also providing couches and beds for which these groups can snuggle or give back-rub trains has proven to be a really effective tool in keeping them cooperative, smiling, and semi-erect. I understand that this becomes a question of ethics, but I'm a non-confrontational person. I have to find ways around my (very few) shortcomings.
Tell me about a time when you disagreed with the actions or decisions of your manager or supervisor. How did you approach the situation? Was the situation resolved to your satisfaction or did nothing change?
I'm glad you brought up David Cromer. Listen, the man is brill. Have you even SEEN Cherrywood? BUT his love for Quiznos is something I could never stand behind. I'm a positive person, and as I said before, non-confrontational. So instead of calling him out on their unappealing commercials and dangerous location at the corner of Clarendon and Broadway, I decided to lead by example. On many occasions I came in with a Subway bag of delicious, steaming, meatbally goodness. Perhaps he thought I was indicating too much when I moaned with each bite, paused, and then watched to see if he noticed. I tried my best, but I guess that wasn't good enough. I'm not even 100% sure he noticed. Regardless, the fact remains that we never met half-way on the sandwich front. I don't think this necessarily hurt our working relationship, but lunch breaks were always a little bit tense, from my end of things.
Is Dereck Garner really that handsome?
I hired him for a very specific reason, and he gets the job done. [See also: Influenza strains.]
Tell me about a time when you worked with a friend or a coworker who became a friend. What did you do to ensure that the friendship bore positive results for your company?
Two words: Hinkles, HJs
Describe a conflict you were involved in at work. How did you resolve the conflict? What happened next with that coworker or team?
Well, a couple weeks ago, the cast killed Craig Cunningham. No one outside of Cherrywood has really noticed that he's been missing. I think they just assume he's been rehearsing, but I worry about the authorities stumbling onto the sign-in sheet and noticing his name isn't there. The cast is really good about not signing in for other people. No one's been questioned yet, and I actually haven't be able to talk about it until now. So again, thank you for interviewing me.
Do you think you are better than me?
No, you're the famous Eric Roach. I'm a huge fan of your work.
What are three examples of the kinds of behaviors, actions, or attitudes you are most likely to conflict with at work?
Being called lady as a term of endearment, PDMs (Public Displays of Massaging), "boy trouble"
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